NFL WEEK 11 PICKS

NFL WEEK 11 PICKS

If the NFL logos tie wasn’t bad enough we can now proudly say that Toronto’s Mayor has been effectively banned from a Canadian Football League game, and asked not to wear their jerseys.  Guess he could just stay home and eat p***y… seeing as how there’s plenty enough of that there.  Good grief.  But it’s Week 11 and time’s running out for teams to make the playoffs.  As often happens in the NFL, there are weak divisions and strong divisions.  It doesn’t make it easier to pick a game but it does mean that weaker teams make it to the Super Bowl and can go up against a powerhouse.  This makes for a crap final.  I don’t want to go there.

Going into WEEK 11 @ 87-60 with 8 correct last week.

Atlanta @ Tampa Bay

Taking Tampa.  Atlanta has not won on the road yet and disappointment comes from elevated expectations of others behavior.  Therefore I do not expect them to do anything different than they already have.

The New York Jets over Buffalo

I don’t care where they play.  I’m not taking Buffalo

Detroit over Pittsburgh

All things considered and if Detroit is firing on all cylinders – they should run right over Pittsburgh.

Washington over Philly

Philly is playing better and have won their last games but those wins come over teams that are less than stellar.  Washington plays with heart and they don’t give up easily. Taking Washington

Chicago over Baltimore

If the stars align then Chicago’s ability to score should outweigh their sieve of a defensive line.  Beyond that Baltimore is quickly becoming my new Buffalo.

Cincinnati over Cleveland

Cinci is due for a win and sometimes it’s as simple as that.

Oakland over Houston

These two are equally bad – therefore I am taking the best of the badness that they collectively are and giving it to Oakland.

Arizona over Jacksonville

The only reason that Jax won that game last week is that Tennessee shit their own bed, changed the sheets at half time, and then proceeded to soil it again.  Jacksonville may be buoyed by the win but Arizona is still a better team statistically and (should) can beat them.

San Diego over Miami

San Diego for all intents and purposes is marginally better than the Fish.  Perhaps Miami can capture an honorary win with honorary players.  Take San Diego.

Seattle over Minnesota

Seattle is better at home, and Minnesota has only won at home (giving them the London game). Which they’re not.  They’re on the road in Seattle.  Case closed.

New Orleans over San Francisco

If you take a look at their win records you’ll find that yes they’ve won games but neither has shellacked a really strong contender.  San Fran struggled somewhat against Carolina last week so I’m giving this to experience and the home team.  Take New Orleans.

New York Giants over Green Bay

Giants and Eli have rallied over last few weeks while Green Bay has floundered.  This is a must win for the Giants.

Denver over Kansas

Denver has one loss this season and Kansas is sitting on Peyton’s undefeated throne.  This, I’m sure displeases him greatly.  Denver is at home and with the pissed off/wicked smart combo under a Mile High Stadium Taurus Full Moon that is Manning tonight … well I wouldn’t mess with him.  Take Denver.

New England over Carolina

Tom Brady doesn’t have nearly the edginess of Peyton’s game face but he surely doesn’t want to lose to a still wet behind the ears Cam Newton.

MAYBE TOM

 tom brady crying

could do less of this and more of this

peyton manning mad facewhich will result in more of this

cam newton with towel on headTake New England

TP&LB

 

 

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NFL WEEK 11 THURSDAY NIGHT INDY @ TENNESSEE

Indianapolis Colts @ Tennessee Titans NFL Thursday Night

Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans

(I make these Thursday Night Picks pics myself … can’t help throwing a little crafty photoshopping in there:)

Last week Indy fans could be heard shouting, whispering, wailing …”Are you fucking kidding me?”  Lose? to St. Louis? @ home?  by 30 freaking fumbling farting around points?   Tonight Tennessee’s Locker is out and Indy should be so embarrassed with their most recent on field debacle that the entire game should be played in Tennessee’s red zone.  Truth is that this is a divisional game, and on a points for and points against level they’re not that far apart.  I’m going to take Indy…. again.  Because just like last week…they should win this one.

TP&LB

NFL WEEK 9 PICKS AND PANS

NFL WEEK 9 PICKS AND PANS

I know I’m late putting these up but in my own defence I haven’t even turned on the TV yet to watch a game and then I was doubly distracted by MikeMajor9’s post at his Toronto@home blog about the epidemic of men sending pics of their johnsons.  He’s very funny.

I know what you’re thinking – it’s easy to call a race when the horses have already left the gate…. but I did these two days ago and this season has proven that it doesn’t matter who’s winning at any point in any game.  The outcome is a mystery till the final whistle.

Win loss record is 70-50

I took Cincinnati in the Thursday game and Miami beat them by 2.

Carolina Panthers over Atlanta Falcons

Atlanta hasn’t won on the road yet and their D is dismal.  Carolina is improving or maybe Cam’s rediscovering his groove on the field.

Dallas Cowboys over Minnesota Vikings

Dallas should win this game – points wise For and Against they are almost complete opposites – maybe they’ll cancel each other out.

New York Jets over Saint Louis

Because I prefer the Jets.

St. Louis over Tennessee

Tennessee is one low scoring team.  You have to score, more than the other guys, to win a game.

Kansas City Chiefs over Buffalo

Kansas City, by their record, has a stellar D, Buffalo not so much.  Buffalo is a hurting team.  On a clear day I can see Buffalo across Lake Ontario, it doesn’t make me like them more.

Washington over San Diego Chargers

Washington is improving their game and RG111 is just so darned likeable.

Oakland over Philly

Philly is dismal.  End of story.

Seattle Seahawks over Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Even though they seemed to struggle against St. Lo last week (were they just messing with us?) they are better at home, they do have a good D ….and Tampa hasn’t won a game yet.  It’s unlikely they’ll do that in Seattle.

Cleveland Browns over Baltimore Ravens

Cleveland lost to Baltimore in Week 2 and it’s anyone’s guess if that’ll happen again. Their win loss records are essentially the same.  Could be a shit show, could be a blow out… could be a game not even worth watching.  So, Cleveland at home it is.

New England Patriots over Pittsburgh Steelers

Even though New England likes to dick with us all, this is still a meeting of two historically powerhouse QBs.  That they’re both a bit old and creaky now will probably do more to even the strategic play playing field, but I’m still taking Brady at home.

Indianapolis Colts over Houston

Indy is coming off a bye week and should be rested. Technically opposites stats wise (read here that the Colts’ record is basically all good and that Houston’s is not) it doesn’t promise to be a good, or exciting, or interesting game.  Will it be one of those Sunday Night Games that won’t keep you cranky on Monday cause you stayed up to watch it… probably.

Green Bay Packers over Chicago Bears

Should be a no-brainer to pick Green Bay. Operative word “should”.

NFL … Is this Week 5?

It’s Week 5 here.

There was some upsets last week – they upset me – we’re not going to discuss them.

Going in Week 5 @ 37-26 (Mommy’s not happy with this)

Anytime spreads are 3 and under it basically means that the “experts” don’t have a clue who’s going to win – This weeks there’s 6 games in that range including a PK – might as well toss up a coin.

That being said:

New England over Cinci – it’s like a tradition.  New England isn’t immune to getting their clock cleaned but neither is Cinci liable to beat them.

Detroit over Green Bay – yes – it’s in Green Bay but I’m taking them anyway.

Indy over Seattle – Seattle and Russell Wilson are pretty hot right now just winning their 4th in a row to start a season, something that hasn’t been achieved in 400 years or something like that.  They’ve beat some crap teams to do so.

Miami over Baltimore – Miami at home.

New Orleans over Chicago – Chicago does have a good defensive line but New Orleans’ is better.

New York Giants over Philly – Between these 2 teams and the 8 games they’ve played between them – there’s been 1 win and that went to Philly.  The Giants can have this one … if they want it bad enough

Tennessee over Kansas – 2 not so good teams – as above – someone’s gonna have to win … or they could tie I suppose.

St. Louis over Jacksonville – Odds makers have give St. Louis a big spread on this one but I wouldn’t pay too much attention to it.  All things considered, they should win.

Arizona over Carolina – Just giving it to them on a home field advantage – sometimes you can’t overthink these things.

Denver over Dallas – need I explain this?

San Francisco over Houston – every week Kaepernick has more to prove – he’s kind of doing it but he needs to do it in a bigger way … on the field.

San Diego over Oakland – San Diego scores and lets points in – working in their favor is a low scoring Oakland team.

New York Jets over Atlanta – in Atlanta – sometimes you just have to live dangerously.

TP&LB

WEEK 1 …it’s a crapshoot but let’s go anyway

Wow — Thursday — Denver finished that one off …

Week 1 is a crapshoot — Any Given Sunday means any thing can happen — and I’m not cooking or cleaning or doing anything that’s going to get in my watching way …. and you can wash your own underpants as well.

Picks in bold

I did take Denver — how could you not?

New England @ Buffalo — I despise …no I loathe Buffalo

Seattle @ Carolina — The Seahawks screw me over regularly but not as much as Buffalo

Cincie @ Chicago — who knows? but that sweet and salty Chi-Town popcorn is good

Miami @ Cleveland — without Ricky Williams … hey I liked him.  But he’s gone.

Minnesota @ Detroit — I’m not sure Detroit’s young QB and Megatron or whatever his nickname is have got it going on again just yet.

Oakland @ Indy — no brainer …. I think with my brain that it’s a no brainer.  My brain might be wrong.

KC @ Jax — two crap teams by all accounts — this is dangerous overall — AKA crapshoot

Atlanta @ New Orleans — this one gave me pause to consider at length — when in doubt go home team

Tampa @ the Jets — The Jets, things that make you go …hmmm

Tennessee @ Pitts — who wants it more.  No. Who really really wants it more.  Beat @ home Week 1.  Pittsburgh wouldn’t like that.

Gbay @ San Fran — Big Colin fan — let’s hope he doesn’t disappoint.

Arizona @ St. Louis — Arizona just because I had to pick someone.

Giants @ Dallas — I just don’t like Dallas and Romo

Philly @ Washington — Now I do like RG111 — (his new sock line is a little f’d up though), I like both teams but will the knee stand the test of time?

Houston @ San Diego — Closing with Houston because it’s my right to do so.

This two Monday nighters is going to make me have to take a nap on Tuesday — Women have shit to do during the day.

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As they say — know you’re limit and bet with in it — I’m telling you what I’m picking — not what you should pick.  That’s on you.  Be responsible.