NFL WEEK 12 …. what’s love and condoms got to do with it

NFL WEEK 12

(ALREADY?)

Deion Sanders Condom Question

Apparently while I’m trying to make a decision between picking Denver or New England, Deion Sanders is fielding twitter questions/responses about whether to give a 16 yr. old boy condoms or not. Yes, and double up Buttercup while you’re at it. Then (whoever asked this) get out a banana (uh, not yours, an actual yellow banana. Cripes, what the fuck is wrong with you?) and show him how to put it on. Otherwise it’s like giving him the keys without showing him how to drive the car. And Deion, cloth covered buttons are… uh, not so much.

Here’s a portion of the twitter feed if you’re so inclined.

Now back to the business of NFL Sunday

Last week’s win/loss was 10/5 making season totals 97/65

Detroit over Tampa Bay

Detroit at home and Megatron’s new shoe line with a freaking Transformer … how could Detroit lose?

Houston over Jacksonville

The only thing to do here is to take the home team.  They’re hugely favored which means jack shit but in reality it only takes 1 point to win the game.  Take Houston.

Green Bay over Minnesota

Green Bay earlier in the season was a no other choice but they’re not really living up to that these days.  Minnesota has a pair of fishnet stockings with holes in them for a defensive line.  Prove me wrong, but I’m going with Green Bay.

Kansas over San Diego

Kansas is back home after having their undefeated season dreams crushed by Denver.  Their PF records are pretty close but San Diego has let in almost 100 points more than Kansas.  So should be a game of who can stop the other guy better.

Carolina over Miami

Carolina has a brick wall defense and Miami are not big scorers and the back room dramas continue. Newton (like him or not) is on a roll.  Take Carolina.

Cleveland over Pittsburgh

Both AFC, both have 4 wins, both win @ home.  AKA anyone’s game.  The question is, who’s going out to play, and who’s going out to kick the living shit out of the other team.  The shit-kickers will win.  I’m taking Cleveland.

St. Louis over Chicago

Nothing more than home team advantage.  Sports pundits can slice and dice this one a hundred ways, but home team is all I’ve got here.

New York Jets over Baltimore

This is an iffy game and you’d have to have read tomorrow’s sports section to actually know who was going to win.  It will be a game of on the ground defense (I know it’s all on the ground, thank you), as the higher scorer of these two low scorers will win.  But I’m still taking The Jets.

Tennessee over Oakland

Who sucks the most here?  I’m still taking Tennessee.

Indianapolis over Arizona

Not sure why Arizona is favored over Indy here.  They either know something we don’t or perhaps the odds makers are just fucking with us.  Take Indy.

New York Giants over Dallas

Dallas beat The Giants in Week 1 when Eli was the…new shitty Eli, but he seems to be returning to the old on the ball Eli. (His receivers could’ve caught a ball, which would have helped also.) Dallas’ owner this week said that they should play the game the way they practice.  Hoping they’ll keep that trend going.  Take The Giants.

Denver over New England

The clash of the old farts.  Brady plays in spurts of on again off again speed, dexterity, and determination.  Peyton is a field controlling crazy man… for the whole freaking game. You can’t beat crazy.

San Francisco over Washington

In a complete turnaround from Sunday’s game, Monday’s game is another meeting of the new guys on the gridiron block.  RG111 has reportedly been taking some locker room flak from the team and public griping from Moss re his on field play and off field attitude.  The Washington defense is practically non-existent.  Take San Francisco. (Never underestimate the power of a previous week’s loss … as Kaepernick did to Newton in their last game.)

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NFL WEEK 10 PICKS… OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

WEEK 10

Freaking genius move on my part taking Minnesota in the Thursday Game.  I hope I haven’t peaked too early.  🙂

 

Going into Week 10 with a 79-54 record (not including Thursday)

Week 10 brings us some difficult games to pick… most times what seems most obvious is the hard choice.  Most disconcerting while checking rushing, passing and other stats (like I really know what they mean) was finding our illustrious and alleged crack head Mayor, Rob Ford on NFL. Com., for wearing an NFL novelty tie during his “yes I did it” news conference.  Here’s the link:

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford NFL Logo Tie 

Onward and upward: 

Tennessee Titans over Jacksonville

If I only had a football team to pick from.  But I don’t so I’ll just take Tennessee at home. 

Green Bay Packers over Philly

Whose record is real here?  I’m hoping that Green Bay will be pissed off still from losing to Chicago last week and pound the living snot out of Philly. 

Pittsburgh over Buffalo

I loathe them both.  They both play to within points of whoever else they’re playing which makes it difficult for you point spread pickers out there. 

NY Giants over Oakland

Even though they are both improving teams, Oakland has not won on the road yet.  That The Giants are 7 point faves surprises me a bit because neither team are point scorers.  Oakland’s got a pretty good D so how Eli and the not so giant Giants are going to beat them by more than 7 remains to be seen.

Indianapolis Colts over St. Louis Rams

St. Louis can’t score … certainly not with any consistency and Indy has a huge defensive game. 

Seattle Seahawks over Atlanta Falcons

Seattle scores more and lets in less and they need and want this game. 

Cincinnati Bengals over Baltimore Ravens

This one is there for the taking.  But by who? Cinci can take it on the road and win.  I don’t think it’ll be a big points game and if it is, both teams will be scoring.  Cinci has won 3 by 3, lost 1 by 2 and 1 by 3.  Baltimore has lost 2 by 3 and 1 by 2.  I’m taking Cinci because I like them more. 

Chicago over Detroit Lions

Chicago is the better team at home and Detroit has lost half their road games.  In my world of mathematics that makes Chicago the better team.  I can’t explain it any better than that. 

Carolina Panthers over San Francisco 49rs

San Fran is good at home and they do have a good defensive record.  Thing is that both have beat shit teams to get their respective win records.  San Fran is coming off a bye week, but Cam and Carolina are on a roll.  These are two still wet behind the ears QBs with something to prove. 

Arizona over Houston

Arizona at home.  I had a good reason but it escapes me now.  It must have bored me as much as the prospect of this game does.

San Diego Chargers over Denver Broncos

Yes, I’m taking San Diego.  Yes, Denver has a great record but they have beaten the worst teams in the league.  San Diego beat the team that beat Denver.  San Diego is at home and they want this very very very much.

New Orleans Saints over Dallas Cowboys

(finally a Sunday Night Game that looks to have some backbone to it) New Orleans is a much better (much much better) defensive team.  Tony Romo is a p***y.  That pretty much sums it up for me.

Miami over Tampa or Tampa over Miami

Tampa is the almost made it team of the year losing within 3 points twice, by 2 once and by 1 once.  So they don’t exactly play up to the level of better teams, but they do seem to keep pace…. Try to anyway.  Miami is a team in an upheaval of accusations and locker roof strife which can spill onto the field if morale has been damaged to the point of defeat.  I’m going to go out on a plank here and go with the Buccaneers.  

TP&LB

NFL … Is this Week 5?

It’s Week 5 here.

There was some upsets last week – they upset me – we’re not going to discuss them.

Going in Week 5 @ 37-26 (Mommy’s not happy with this)

Anytime spreads are 3 and under it basically means that the “experts” don’t have a clue who’s going to win – This weeks there’s 6 games in that range including a PK – might as well toss up a coin.

That being said:

New England over Cinci – it’s like a tradition.  New England isn’t immune to getting their clock cleaned but neither is Cinci liable to beat them.

Detroit over Green Bay – yes – it’s in Green Bay but I’m taking them anyway.

Indy over Seattle – Seattle and Russell Wilson are pretty hot right now just winning their 4th in a row to start a season, something that hasn’t been achieved in 400 years or something like that.  They’ve beat some crap teams to do so.

Miami over Baltimore – Miami at home.

New Orleans over Chicago – Chicago does have a good defensive line but New Orleans’ is better.

New York Giants over Philly – Between these 2 teams and the 8 games they’ve played between them – there’s been 1 win and that went to Philly.  The Giants can have this one … if they want it bad enough

Tennessee over Kansas – 2 not so good teams – as above – someone’s gonna have to win … or they could tie I suppose.

St. Louis over Jacksonville – Odds makers have give St. Louis a big spread on this one but I wouldn’t pay too much attention to it.  All things considered, they should win.

Arizona over Carolina – Just giving it to them on a home field advantage – sometimes you can’t overthink these things.

Denver over Dallas – need I explain this?

San Francisco over Houston – every week Kaepernick has more to prove – he’s kind of doing it but he needs to do it in a bigger way … on the field.

San Diego over Oakland – San Diego scores and lets points in – working in their favor is a low scoring Oakland team.

New York Jets over Atlanta – in Atlanta – sometimes you just have to live dangerously.

TP&LB

WEEK 3 NFL ….LET’S GO HARD

I don’t mean me of course – I mean the teams – Let’s go harder…as in throw it, catch it, score with it.

Taking:

NY Giants over Carolina – both are 0-3 and someone’s gotta win.

Tennessee over San Diego – San Diego burned me last week by having the audacity to beat Philly.  As a true Woman, I tend not to forget these things.

Minnesota over Cleveland – Home team – rocking the purple and gold.

New England over Tampa – NE is 2-0, Tampa is 0-2. Doubtful that NE is going to give it up to the Buccaneers in their own backyard.

Houston over Baltimore – Home team advantage and nothing more.

Dallas over St. Louis – Come on Tony Romo, I’m giving you one more chance at home. Please don’t fuck it up.

New Orleans over Arizona – New Orleans is marginally better at home than away.  Arizona is better at home.  Simple math.

Washington over Detroit – Hoping hoping hoping that RG111 and his team are gonna get their act together.  Washington’s one of my old time all time fave teams and I want it to stay that way. If I have to dump you it’s gonna be like dumping that guy that’s really good in bed … but he’s still gotta go.

Cincinnati over Green Bay – Green Bay scores a lot but they give up a lot of points.  Cinci’s ability to stop people holding the brown oblong ball appears to be fairly solid.Time will tell.

Miami over Atlanta – You ask me, why?  I ask you, why not?

San Fran over Indy – San Fran is heavily favored and they are good at home.  Can they cover?  Maybe, maybe not, but they sure as shit can win.

Seattle over Jacksonville – Honestly – your family dog could pick this one.

Buffalo over the Jets – I don’t like this game – I don’t like it at all.

Chicago over Pittsburgh – Pittsburgh is at home and days gone by it’d be a sure bet to take them.  This season, not so much.

Denver over Oakland – Peyton doesn’t like to lose – it seems to take him a quarter or two to get going but when he does… Oakland should just get out of the way.

I’ll be cooking burgers on the grill in that waffly time frame between the early and late games.  Dress them yourselves and get your own liquid refreshments, I haven’t the time. Fortunately the Sunday Night Game is not one that’s grabbing me because you don’t watch every season of Dexter to miss or delay the Final Show of all time ever.  It better be good.

NFL WEEK ONE ROUND UP …. crapshoot confirmed

WEEK 1 ROUNDUP

NEW ENGLAND barely squeaked past BUFFALO by 2 points which is fucking stunning going into it as 9-10 point favorites.   My loathing of BUFFALO remains intact.

Maybe MIAMI is going to be better on the road this year?  That remains to be seen.

KANSAS kicked the crap out of JACKSONVILLE, which begs the question, is KANSAS that good or is JAX that bad – probably a combo of the two.

THE JETS did not win that game by 1 point – TAMPA BAY gave it to them on a personal foul (a doubly stupid one at that) so my opinion of these two knucklehead teams is held in reserve till I see what the JETS do against NEW ENGLAND this Thursday Week 2.  (I hate when they put shit games on for the night games.)

TENNESSEE 16-PITTSBURGH 6.  Seriously?  Big Ben?  WTF?

COLIN, I mean, SAN FRAN over GREEN BAY 34-28 – I like SAN FRANSISCO – have for years which wasn’t easy at times – Let’s see what they do against SEATTLE Sunday night Week 2.

DALLAS over THE GIANTS 36-31 – Were Eli and the rest of the team playing in the same game on the same field at the same time?  Offense, defense?  Begs the question though if THE GIANTS were that bad and DALLAS only beat them by 5… things that make you go hmmm….

PHILLY beat WASHINGTON but much of the game was focused on whether RG111 was going to keel over.  In protecting him pre-season did they do him a service or not?  VICK haters keep on hating…

HOUSTON over SAN DIEGO  2nd game Monday night – another yawner.

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Week One SU

9 — 7

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WEEK 1 …it’s a crapshoot but let’s go anyway

Wow — Thursday — Denver finished that one off …

Week 1 is a crapshoot — Any Given Sunday means any thing can happen — and I’m not cooking or cleaning or doing anything that’s going to get in my watching way …. and you can wash your own underpants as well.

Picks in bold

I did take Denver — how could you not?

New England @ Buffalo — I despise …no I loathe Buffalo

Seattle @ Carolina — The Seahawks screw me over regularly but not as much as Buffalo

Cincie @ Chicago — who knows? but that sweet and salty Chi-Town popcorn is good

Miami @ Cleveland — without Ricky Williams … hey I liked him.  But he’s gone.

Minnesota @ Detroit — I’m not sure Detroit’s young QB and Megatron or whatever his nickname is have got it going on again just yet.

Oakland @ Indy — no brainer …. I think with my brain that it’s a no brainer.  My brain might be wrong.

KC @ Jax — two crap teams by all accounts — this is dangerous overall — AKA crapshoot

Atlanta @ New Orleans — this one gave me pause to consider at length — when in doubt go home team

Tampa @ the Jets — The Jets, things that make you go …hmmm

Tennessee @ Pitts — who wants it more.  No. Who really really wants it more.  Beat @ home Week 1.  Pittsburgh wouldn’t like that.

Gbay @ San Fran — Big Colin fan — let’s hope he doesn’t disappoint.

Arizona @ St. Louis — Arizona just because I had to pick someone.

Giants @ Dallas — I just don’t like Dallas and Romo

Philly @ Washington — Now I do like RG111 — (his new sock line is a little f’d up though), I like both teams but will the knee stand the test of time?

Houston @ San Diego — Closing with Houston because it’s my right to do so.

This two Monday nighters is going to make me have to take a nap on Tuesday — Women have shit to do during the day.

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As they say — know you’re limit and bet with in it — I’m telling you what I’m picking — not what you should pick.  That’s on you.  Be responsible.

 

Did Ray Lewis really say that?

The night the Lights went out In San Francisco

 

Yes, he did … they pulled the plug because they wanted to slow the Ravens down … or something ridiculous like that. CEO Jed York responds above.

Here’s the link.  On the other hand we’re still talking about Ray Lewis aren’t we?

Tight Pants