NFL WEEK 16 PICKS …trickier than it seems

NFL WEEK 16 PICKS

Things are getting trickier to pick.  Early on in any season it’s brawn and just plain old wanting to win that fuels the competitiveness. Yes, everything counts towards a playoff spot but right about now things get complicated because getting there can sit in the balance with who loses to whom as important as who wins against who.  This week there are only 3 games that don’t have playoff implications: Browns & Jets, Titans & Jaguars, and the Buccaneers & Rams.  You can find the ins & outs on line but you have to be a mathematician to figure that shit out… which I’m not, having dropped math in Grade 9 … cause you could in those days 🙂

My selfish fears this week are that the power will go out at 1pm with this southern Ontario ice storm … thank you Texas, or that the only games available for viewing will be a combo of the 3 games that really don’t matter.

Last week: 9 and 7

Year totals: 130 and 94

Miami Dolphins over Buffalo Bills

Beyond my oft-expressed hatred of Buffalo, statistically these two are well matched.  Miami might have to have their skates on to play in this weather and sitting in that open venue in Buffalo today won’t be an easy thing but Miami has beaten stiffer competition both on and off the road.

Carolina over New Orleans Saints

Carolina has not lost at home since Week 1 and the New Orleans road game has room for improvement.  They’re as much as tied for the NFC South and this is Newton’s chance to really show us what he’s got … or to go home with a towel on his head.  Who would choose to do that?

Dallas Cowboys over Washington

The disruptive drama that is the Redskins continues.  Dallas needs this game and they’ll be coming to Washington to get it.  The home team here left the building some time ago and despite their renewed efforts with Cousins, it’s still a case of too little too late.

St. Louis over Tampa Bay Buccaneers

St. Louis sits at the bottom of the NFC West and Tampa’s not sitting much better over in the NFC South, which is why this game is one of the no one cares games. St. Louis runs very hot and cold but one really does have to give them the home team advantage.

New York Jets over Cleveland Browns

(Another change the channel game)  Cleveland is very capable of losing by mere points and at the same time have scored 100 more points than the Jets for the season.  Defensively they’re pretty close. I’m taking the Jets because they’re very capable of pulling an unlikely upset out of their pockets.  They’re minimally favored at home and because that’s all this game has to offer … I’ll take it.

Kansas City over Indianapolis

Based on the Kansas D, I’m going with them.  Do think though that it’ll be a hard fought game … Indy’s not going to lay down and take it.

Cincinnati Bengals over Minnesota

I like Cincie and I like them more at home.  Peterson is reported to being playing for the Vikings but it’s their D that’s the problem, and they’re not, or haven’t been, 2 in a row winners.  Cincie is finishing the season with 2 home games and the home crowd should carry them the distance they need to go.

Denver Broncos over Houston Texans

Denver does throw a shoe on occasion and ends up on the wrong end of an upset … but to Houston for cripes sake?

Jacksonville over Tennessee

Not a question of who’s better, but one of who’s worse.  This is the kind of game that will fuck up your pick card.  Taking Jax @ home just because I have to pick someone to win.

Seattle Seahawks over Arizona

The noise machine that is Seattle at home should kick into gear … I think I can hear them now … from here.  This is the first of Seattle’s season ending home game schedule and Arizona might want to this game but they’re not going to get it.

Detroit Lions over the New York Giants

Stafford has just been declared the most undisciplined QB in the league… and the Lions as out of control as a whole for their often own play ending penalties and questionable coaching plays.  Oh, the Motor City, every one’s a critic.  But it’s The Giants for Christmas sake.

San Diego Chargers over Oakland Raiders

These 2 are at the bottom and the bottom bottom of the AFC West. San Diego should still be up over their surprise win (I was surprised) in Denver last week.

Green Bay Packers over Pittsburgh Steelers

The answer to will he or won’t he play is that he won’t.  Still taking Green Bay @ home.

Baltimore over New England

New England has been struggling of late and they struggle more on the road.  Their wins in December have been by points against both Houston and Cleveland, which are not powerhouse teams to begin with.  Gronkowski is missed, no doubt about that.  Baltimore does the same thing points wise the key here is that they score less but they stop more.

Philly over Chicago

Philly wants and needs this and Chicago wants and needs this. Chicago can win, and has won on the road but they are more inclined to lose traveling.  Philly is favored here by the standard 3-point home advantage gift … and sometimes that’s all you need to get it done.  Hopefully that’s what they’ll do.

San Francisco 49rs over Atlanta

Will San Francisco lose = no.  Will they win by 12 = no.  I’m just putting that out there.

Tight Pants and Leather Balls

 

Chicago Bears Group Shower Shot…what?

Well Kudos to the team for actually putting this pic up on the Official Chicago Bears Site …

Chicago Bears in the Shower before Cleveland game

….pre-game in the shower in Cleveland

They don’t look happy or fierce. They look like a bunch of men who don’t wan’t to be holding hands in a shower.  I understand the whole rah rah geek up the team before the game thing … or the group prayer… but was there no where else to do this?  There’s a series of getting ready to beat Cleveland pics on their site and more than a few where they’re getting helped into their gear like Mom did dressing the kids for a snow day.  They’re the best. … Moms, Snow Days, and the pics. 🙂

TP&LB

NFL WEEK 15 THURSDAY NIGHT SAN DIEGO at DENVER

NFL WEEK 15 THURSDAY NIGHT SAN DIEGO AT DENVER

nfl week 15 thursday night san diego at denver

I could wax eloquent about how Denver really wants to win this game and that San Diego’s all over the place and that Peyton might still be pissed that the media said he had trouble playing in the cold blah blah blah… Or I could just say I’m  going to crack a bottle of red, pour a glass and watch The Broncos kick The Chargers collective asses.  I’ll be most disappointed if The Broncos do not prevail.  I will however still enjoy my Shiraz.

Tight Pants & Leather Balls

****

Friday morning — Now dubbed the upset of the season as San Diego beat Denver 27-20. The Shiraz was nice.  In other news: 3 people (maybe 4) were stabbed in the parking area next to the stadium after the game.  No word on motive.  Denver loses to San Diego in Denver… WTF?

NFL Week 13 … the redemption

NFL WEEK 13 …. The redemption

…for me anyway.  American Thanksgiving was very good to me giving me 3 for 3 in the win category.  Did wish however that they’d stop showing the big birds getting loaded into the rustic truck on their happy way to getting cooked and carved.  Enough already… wait, can I have gravy on that?

Let’s begin:

Indy over Tennessee

Indy squeaked out a win over Tennessee 2 weeks ago.  They should be able to do it again and more so at home.

Denver over Kansas

(crazy didn’t quite cut it last week for Peyton) Denver took Kansas by 10 points 2 weeks ago. They’re tied for the AFC West, they both want it but Denver is the better team.

Cleveland over Jacksonville

Cleveland at home.  I don’t even want to see this game.

Carolina over Tampa

Carolina D should brick wall low scoring Tampa Bay even with the Buccaneer’s improved play over the last few weeks.

Chicago over Minnesota

This is a must win over Minnesota and hopefully the entire team has been practicing visualization where they can see themselves pulling this one out of the cracks of each other’s butts.  Yes, Adrian Peterson is doing his thing but he can’t play the whole game by himself.  Maybe he’ll just get tired…. And stop running.

Arizona over Philly

Philly has let me down repeatedly and are fast becoming my new Buffalo.

New York Jets over Miami

Miami has been known to falter on the road and in Divisional matchups.  The Jets are at home where it will hopefully be too cold for Miami to keep hold of the ball.  Predict this to be a ground fight.

Buffalo over Atlanta

(Philly being my new Buffalo gives me the option to take Buffalo) Also this is here in Toronto and we can see Buffalo on a clear day so technically this is a home game for them.  Buffalo outplays Atlanta statistically so I’m taking them and as God is my Witness….

San Francisco over St. Louis

Can St. Louis penetrate the San Fran defensive line?  We’ll see.  It’s not like Kaepernick throws it much.  This will be a tough win for San Fran …. But I think, I think, I think they can do it.

New England over Houston

Brady can throw a ball, we’ve got to give him that.  Houston winning is an unlikely upset.

San Diego over Cincinnati

Cinci is at the top of their Division right now above both Pittsburgh and Baltimore … I find that odd in a strictly esoteric kind of way. This will come down to the Cincinnati D line because compared to San Diego they just let less shit happen … but usually at home, where they’re not for this game.  I’m taking San Diego at home.

Washington over the New York Giants

Where one sucks the other is better and with the Giants favored by 1 with most odds makers, it’s either’s game to take. If RG111 has recovered from his nut busting episode from last week, and he’s still pissed off about some people bashing his Dad RG11 and he can carry that into the game (that’s a lot of “ifs”) then … I’m taking Washington.

RG111 shot to the nuts

The Anatomy of a Nut Shot

New Orleans over Seattle

Seattle has to lose at home eventually.  I’m leaving it there.

NFL WEEK 13 THANKSGIVING THURSDAY GAMES

NFL WEEK 13 THURSDAY NIGHT GAMES 

I’ve never read any of the big official game pickers come out and say they sucked the previous week – but I’m going to own that.  5-9.  Dreadful – still if there’s a time to get that SHIT WEEK in it’s now, before I need the big score at season’s end.

American Thanksgiving gives us 3 games and they really need to mix these up a bit and give us other teams to watch…unless it’s tradition like that ridiculous 4-6 legged turkey the NFL commentators gnaw on after the show.

Season record 102-74

Detroit over Green Bay

Green Bay’s QB is trying to fill Rodger’s cleats and not doing too badly and Detroit of late has been just missing the mark, admittedly that mark is all over the field.  A loss at home to Tampa last week should have them embarrassed enough to … do better this week.  These two are pretty well matched statistically and being at home is an advantage to Detroit.  Taking Detroit.

Dallas over Oakland

Very troublesome.  Dallas’ advantage is in their scoring game having racked up 100 more points for the season.  Defensively they’re within 20.  Taking Dallas.

Baltimore over Pittsburgh

This will be a hard fought divisional battle.  They’re both 5-6. Baltimore wins in the D department and rushing a few extra yards. Pittsburgh has Baltimore on passing and total yards per game.  It’s going to be an Any Given Sunday kind of night and hopefully end in Baltimore’s favor.

NFL WEEK 12 …. what’s love and condoms got to do with it

NFL WEEK 12

(ALREADY?)

Deion Sanders Condom Question

Apparently while I’m trying to make a decision between picking Denver or New England, Deion Sanders is fielding twitter questions/responses about whether to give a 16 yr. old boy condoms or not. Yes, and double up Buttercup while you’re at it. Then (whoever asked this) get out a banana (uh, not yours, an actual yellow banana. Cripes, what the fuck is wrong with you?) and show him how to put it on. Otherwise it’s like giving him the keys without showing him how to drive the car. And Deion, cloth covered buttons are… uh, not so much.

Here’s a portion of the twitter feed if you’re so inclined.

Now back to the business of NFL Sunday

Last week’s win/loss was 10/5 making season totals 97/65

Detroit over Tampa Bay

Detroit at home and Megatron’s new shoe line with a freaking Transformer … how could Detroit lose?

Houston over Jacksonville

The only thing to do here is to take the home team.  They’re hugely favored which means jack shit but in reality it only takes 1 point to win the game.  Take Houston.

Green Bay over Minnesota

Green Bay earlier in the season was a no other choice but they’re not really living up to that these days.  Minnesota has a pair of fishnet stockings with holes in them for a defensive line.  Prove me wrong, but I’m going with Green Bay.

Kansas over San Diego

Kansas is back home after having their undefeated season dreams crushed by Denver.  Their PF records are pretty close but San Diego has let in almost 100 points more than Kansas.  So should be a game of who can stop the other guy better.

Carolina over Miami

Carolina has a brick wall defense and Miami are not big scorers and the back room dramas continue. Newton (like him or not) is on a roll.  Take Carolina.

Cleveland over Pittsburgh

Both AFC, both have 4 wins, both win @ home.  AKA anyone’s game.  The question is, who’s going out to play, and who’s going out to kick the living shit out of the other team.  The shit-kickers will win.  I’m taking Cleveland.

St. Louis over Chicago

Nothing more than home team advantage.  Sports pundits can slice and dice this one a hundred ways, but home team is all I’ve got here.

New York Jets over Baltimore

This is an iffy game and you’d have to have read tomorrow’s sports section to actually know who was going to win.  It will be a game of on the ground defense (I know it’s all on the ground, thank you), as the higher scorer of these two low scorers will win.  But I’m still taking The Jets.

Tennessee over Oakland

Who sucks the most here?  I’m still taking Tennessee.

Indianapolis over Arizona

Not sure why Arizona is favored over Indy here.  They either know something we don’t or perhaps the odds makers are just fucking with us.  Take Indy.

New York Giants over Dallas

Dallas beat The Giants in Week 1 when Eli was the…new shitty Eli, but he seems to be returning to the old on the ball Eli. (His receivers could’ve caught a ball, which would have helped also.) Dallas’ owner this week said that they should play the game the way they practice.  Hoping they’ll keep that trend going.  Take The Giants.

Denver over New England

The clash of the old farts.  Brady plays in spurts of on again off again speed, dexterity, and determination.  Peyton is a field controlling crazy man… for the whole freaking game. You can’t beat crazy.

San Francisco over Washington

In a complete turnaround from Sunday’s game, Monday’s game is another meeting of the new guys on the gridiron block.  RG111 has reportedly been taking some locker room flak from the team and public griping from Moss re his on field play and off field attitude.  The Washington defense is practically non-existent.  Take San Francisco. (Never underestimate the power of a previous week’s loss … as Kaepernick did to Newton in their last game.)

NFL WEEK 12 THURSDAY SAINTS @ ATLANTA

NFL Week 12 Thursday Saints @ Atlanta

new orleans at atlanta

 

Atlanta has only won twice this season — both games at home.  To win this one though New Orleans will have to lose on the road … and they’re quite capable of winning anywhere they go.  The Saints have a very good defensive line and Atlanta struggles to score … and stop most things (men & balls) coming their way.  New Orleans is heavily favoured which doesn’t mean much these days but I’m taking them anyway because once again they “should” win.

TP&LB