NFL WEEK 12
Apparently while I’m trying to make a decision between picking Denver or New England, Deion Sanders is fielding twitter questions/responses about whether to give a 16 yr. old boy condoms or not. Yes, and double up Buttercup while you’re at it. Then (whoever asked this) get out a banana (uh, not yours, an actual yellow banana. Cripes, what the fuck is wrong with you?) and show him how to put it on. Otherwise it’s like giving him the keys without showing him how to drive the car. And Deion, cloth covered buttons are… uh, not so much.
Now back to the business of NFL Sunday
Last week’s win/loss was 10/5 making season totals 97/65
Detroit over Tampa Bay
Detroit at home and Megatron’s new shoe line with a freaking Transformer … how could Detroit lose?
Houston over Jacksonville
The only thing to do here is to take the home team. They’re hugely favored which means jack shit but in reality it only takes 1 point to win the game. Take Houston.
Green Bay over Minnesota
Green Bay earlier in the season was a no other choice but they’re not really living up to that these days. Minnesota has a pair of fishnet stockings with holes in them for a defensive line. Prove me wrong, but I’m going with Green Bay.
Kansas over San Diego
Kansas is back home after having their undefeated season dreams crushed by Denver. Their PF records are pretty close but San Diego has let in almost 100 points more than Kansas. So should be a game of who can stop the other guy better.
Carolina over Miami
Carolina has a brick wall defense and Miami are not big scorers and the back room dramas continue. Newton (like him or not) is on a roll. Take Carolina.
Cleveland over Pittsburgh
Both AFC, both have 4 wins, both win @ home. AKA anyone’s game. The question is, who’s going out to play, and who’s going out to kick the living shit out of the other team. The shit-kickers will win. I’m taking Cleveland.
St. Louis over Chicago
Nothing more than home team advantage. Sports pundits can slice and dice this one a hundred ways, but home team is all I’ve got here.
New York Jets over Baltimore
This is an iffy game and you’d have to have read tomorrow’s sports section to actually know who was going to win. It will be a game of on the ground defense (I know it’s all on the ground, thank you), as the higher scorer of these two low scorers will win. But I’m still taking The Jets.
Tennessee over Oakland
Who sucks the most here? I’m still taking Tennessee.
Indianapolis over Arizona
Not sure why Arizona is favored over Indy here. They either know something we don’t or perhaps the odds makers are just fucking with us. Take Indy.
New York Giants over Dallas
Dallas beat The Giants in Week 1 when Eli was the…new shitty Eli, but he seems to be returning to the old on the ball Eli. (His receivers could’ve caught a ball, which would have helped also.) Dallas’ owner this week said that they should play the game the way they practice. Hoping they’ll keep that trend going. Take The Giants.
Denver over New England
The clash of the old farts. Brady plays in spurts of on again off again speed, dexterity, and determination. Peyton is a field controlling crazy man… for the whole freaking game. You can’t beat crazy.
San Francisco over Washington
In a complete turnaround from Sunday’s game, Monday’s game is another meeting of the new guys on the gridiron block. RG111 has reportedly been taking some locker room flak from the team and public griping from Moss re his on field play and off field attitude. The Washington defense is practically non-existent. Take San Francisco. (Never underestimate the power of a previous week’s loss … as Kaepernick did to Newton in their last game.)